Fishing Humour - Page 2 of 6

Extract from The Fishing Handbook to end all Fishing Handbooks
(Copyright 1972 Wolfe Publishing Limited)

A heifer is a teenage cow, and can be differentiated by her Junior Miss udders and expression of trusting virginity.

A bull is a different kettle of tea, not to say a cup of fish. In place of udders he has a rather enviable set of what used to be described in pre-permissive days as wedding tackle. His expression can range from bleary to ferocious, depending on his luck, and generally wears a ring through his nose.

A bullock is something which would have grown into a bull if his prospects has not been nipped in the bud. He can be recognised by his lack of recognisable points, pained expression and high-pitched moo. A bullock with long legs and no horns is likely to be a horse.

Watch Your Step

The most common hazard from all four kinds is the cow pat. This can be avoided during daylight by the simple expedients of stepping round or leaping over, and identified in the dark unfortunately when the damage has been done - by its soggy feeling and gentle squelching sound.

There are circumstances in which a cow pat cannot be avoided; i.e. when it is, as it were, delivered.